Today is February 5th. Today is exactly 3 years ago that I met my husband. I should be happy, but I am not. Tuesday was a full moon. Tuesday morning he woke up and was a complete jerk. He was actually a jerk on Saturday, which is typical for him. I have learned that the few days leading up to a full moon are not good days. My husband does the Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde dance in these days. A few weeks ago we went to the doctor to try yet another medication to stabilize his moods. He is now on Zoloft and at first it seemed wonderful, until the full moon came along again. I also got medication for my PMS, which is actually PMDD (PMS on steroids). I am taking birth control pills and anxiety medication to help alleviate my symptoms. I actually thought that maybe in these past three years I was a big contributor to his mood shifts, but now that I am doing the hormone thing and taking Ativan at night, I am calm and feel good. The issue this week is him, I know this is not me.
You would think that today we would be celebrating or something. Or at least talking. But we are not. He is still grouching and I am being silent and tip toeing around arguments. You see on Tuesday morning he really let me down. My car was hit by a rock from a semi passing me and chipped my windshield last week. I called my insurance lady immediately and started the ball rolling to get it fixed before all our cold weather started to make the chip crack. Before actually scheduling the appointment to have it fixed I checked with my husband (who is home all day laid off of work right now) to see if he would be available to take my car to the approved glass company my insurance would pay for. This company is in a town close to ours, but an hour away from where I work. So he agreed to do it kindly. So I scheduled the appointment on a day when he could take my car and I could take his truck to work. This day was Tuesday the 3rd at 2pm. So guess what? Tuesday morning his truck is hooked to a trailer and not ready for me to take to work (even though I had reminded him the day before). He gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and tells me he is getting in the shower. My response to him was (calmly) "Why are you taking a shower? Where are you going?" Please keep in mind, I am trying to get ready for work, he is laid off work for the winter, and we only have one small bathroom. Over the past 3 years it has been well known that both of our pet peeves is being crammed in the bathroom at the same time trying to get ready. My unspoken point to him was that why did he need to take a shower to go out and unhook the trailer from his truck for me to take to work in less than a half hour. But his response was "Fine then. I am going back to bed." So he did not get back up and I had to drive my car and cancel my car appointment. I called my insurance to see if there was any way that I could just take it near my work, since he was not being helpful, and I did not have room in my work schedule to take time off for the appointment. They do not have an approved glass dealer near my work, but there is a company that will come and do a remote fix on it. The problem with this being that they have to do it under shelter or during a warmer dry day, which we have not had yet this week. Finally this Friday may be warm and dry enough, but the problem now is that my chipped windshield has now started cracking over the past couple days. Now it may not be fixable and may need a new windshield altogether...and that is going to cost me $100 for my deductible. He is unapologetic for the hassle he has caused and the money I have to fork out now. Does it make sense why on this day, I am not happy, despite the fact I should be?
So still no communication going on. I tried to text him today and he did not respond for a long time. Then I come home to find out he was plowing snow all day, and one of the places he was doing this is a woman's house whose husband is an over the road trucker. Last time I saw this woman she commented on him going in for a beer. On an earlier occassion I overheard her refer to him in a flirting way as "babe" and then again as "buff" while he was lifting hay bales. When I asked him where he was plowing snow he did not call her by name, but said the horses house (she has horses). So I am on high alert as to what is really going on around here.
ReplyDeleteLast night my husbands "little buddy" who is a 14 yr old kid with ADHD that idolizes him asks to come over. He got here really late and now it seems to be for the whole weekend. My husband did not ask me if I wanted to have a weekend guest (who can be terribly annoying) spend the weekend. I am still so pissed off at him for the past week as it is and it has been ages since he has done anything with just me. So we are sitting here, just like we did last night, not talking and staring at the TV with a kid that isn't either of ours, annoying the shit out of me.
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